Further to my day with The Sandman and my invite to the top table, along with the other Company Nomarks it appears that the disease I have of Hypocrisitis is complicated by another condition which I shall call Arslikhan Arslikhan itself complicated by Desperandumitis. Hypocrisitis is easily explainable as the schizioid personality of someone who moans, whines and knows he is better than the fools he works for, but smiles and does exactly what they say in order to preserve the system of employment that pays large(ish) sums of money each month in order to fund an increasingly leisure oriented lifestyle. It can be confused with Mercenary Syndrome in which all moral judgements are cast aside in pursuit of filthy lucre.
Arslikhan Arslikhan is an ailment whereby the sufferer starts to agree profusely with his peers and bosses in order to make his work look better and to be seen as a "bloody good bloke". It increases in intensity closer to annual appraisal time, pay rise time, or before annual leave is requested. This has been happening a lot to me lately.
Desperandumitis is a condition where the sufferer decides that he or she does want to get on in their job, despite their better nature. It is uncontrollable because the sufferer is normally at a reasonable level of cynicism and independent thought but then finds themself agreeing with and understanding "performance drivers", "process improvement initiatives" and "company strategy".
Oh my God! I have been guilty of writing and publishing a strategy recently! I have also inititated two very high profile "process improvement inititatives". I have been explaining and evangelising "performance drivers" to my team. This is all happening despite my inner real thoughts. Before I know it my cynicism will be spent.
Fuck me, I'm even stepping into the breach for 3 weeks to deputise for The Mysterious M as he flies off for some Florida sun. I will be at The Sandmans table for 3 weeks.
Grocerjack is becoming GlobalEfficienciesJack.
I am becoming corporatised.
I am being assimilated.
Resistance is futile.